Chuck Norris Facts

**Gojyo** · 06-05-2008, 08:58 PM

Well I was in a chat room last night and a few of us had some fun posting these so I thought I would share a some of my favorites with you guys. If anyone else knows of any good ones, please share them here. All of these are proven facts by the way.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.

**Blaze7** · 06-05-2008, 09:16 PM

Hows this:

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And My favorite:

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Also here is some more but there were too many:

Spoiler

**Brandonel1** · 06-05-2008, 09:18 PM

i actually have a video made of a whole bunch of chuck norris facts but ill just post a few if u want to see it search brandonel1 on youtube it should come up anyway

when you search chuck norris on google and misspell it it doesnt say "did u mean chuck norris" it says "run while you still can"

jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

chuck norris will never get a heart attack his heart is not nearly foolish enough to attack him

chuck norris destroyed the periodic table of elements because the only element he recognizes is the element of surprise

chuck norris can kill two stones with one bird

Jack was nimble,Jack was quick,but he couldnt dodge chuck norrisis round house kick

Chuck norrisis tears can cure cancer.....too bad he never cries

**Gojyo** · 06-05-2008, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blaze7

And My favorite:

Spoiler

Hah, that one was pretty good. This is pretty funny as well.

**Aracelais** · 06-05-2008, 09:53 PM

Yes! I <3 Chuck Norris facts. They make me laugh uncontrollably.

Spoiler

**Brandonel1** · 06-06-2008, 07:03 AM

heres the video i made

**Grave** · 06-06-2008, 07:33 AM

Such a thread is already in general disscusions

**Gojyo** · 06-06-2008, 09:28 PM

Sorry about that, I didn't realize a thread like this was already on the forums. One of the mods can always delete this one if they want to.

**EricCrawford22** · 07-27-2008, 12:13 AM

omg i was laughin soooo hard i was crying chuck norris jokes are super funny

**Randmthotz** · 07-27-2008, 12:54 AM

Chuck norris doesnt T-Bag the ladies. He potatoe sacks them

Chuck norris once challenged lance armstrong to a who has more ball contest. And won. By five.